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When I was a little girl my Dad would whisper into my ear before putting me to sleep at night, “Just remember, you can do ANYTHING.” I believed this for quite some time up until I was around 10 and came to find out Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy were really him the whole time… Talk about the ultimate devastation.
As I grew older, this simple affirmation of “I can do anything” started to seem more and more like a fantasy. As life unfolded around me and certain societal pressures and norms infiltrated my mind; it became more challenging to believe. I was listening to everything and everyone but myself and this belief of “I can do anything” started to distort into the limiting belief that… “Whatever I do is not enough…” I listened to certain media about the “perfect” body type, weight and how to achieve it, to others’ opinions about when I was “supposed” to be having sex, the internships I needed, the schools I should apply to, the friends I needed, the connections that would yield the best network, the food I should eat and the money I should make…. the list goes on. Planning and obsessing over my future self became my present.
Suddenly, all of this changed for me… I was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer in May of 2018 and just like that the future didn’t really seem so important and the present moment now held more meaning for me than it ever had before. Luckily, when I received the news, I was living in a natural paradise where friends are family, my work is meaningful, and breathtaking views of the entire coastline are a short hike away. I can’t really say how I would I have taken the diagnosis had I not been at a place like Rosemary Dream, however, I do remember the exact feelings that overtook my entire body when I got off the phone call with my mother. I immediately felt gratitude like I never had experienced before. Tears began to stream down my face as I looked up and took notice to my surroundings. My awareness skyrocketed and in that moment I realized how truly fleeting life was.
I could live my whole life doing everything the “right way” and according to “the plan”, only to realize that sometimes life just might have something different in store and this is the call we must listen to. Easier said than done.
Fast forward a few months and the surgery was a success. My thyroid has been removed along with the cancer. I am still trying to adapt to the new medication and find the sweet spot for what my body needs. I will need follow ups with my doctor to make sure the cancer doesn’t return for the next 5 years, but for now, life has gone back to normal for the most part…
I don’t know whether or not I believe in coincidences but I do believe life is always giving us exactly what is needed for the evolution of our consciousness. How do we know this is the experience we need? Because it’s the experience we’re having at this very moment. Did I just happen to be living and working at an Empowerment Center while all this was occurring? Was it just a coincidence that I happened to be at a location that hosts people from all over the world looking for ways to live more meaningful lives? Perhaps… but it would be an awful shame if I didn’t take FULL advantage of this randomness life has presented me with.
With surgery bills and doctor visits accumulating, my time here at Rosemary Dream feels it could be running out but I am not yet ready to throw in the towel. I feel especially after this experience I have much to share with the individuals that come through our our Heart Attack Programs. I left my comfortable life in the states, the job, my family, friends, and spent the last year pouring my heart and soul this project that is Rosemary Dream. Why? Because I believe everyone should have the opportunity to see their life through the lens that cancer has given me. However, I don’t think it needs to take something like cancer or a near death experience for this to happen. What I’ve learned and what I feel passionately about sharing with others comes down to this, no matter what happens to us in life…
“There is UNLIMITED power in waking up and preparing to love fearlessly.”
From here on, whether I get what I want, don’t get what I want or everything I have is taken away, I am going to UNLEASH all of myself to this world.
It’s a bit strange that it took cancer for me to come back and begin listening to myself again. And come to find out that my Dad was right all along, I just had stopped believing. I realize now with clarity and a full heart that I CAN DO ANYTHING and not even cancer can stop me from living my best life.
If my story resonates with you I am asking for your support. A little help collectively can go a long way. Thank you in advance for helping me share this experience and continue to give back to the project and people that are helping to empower people all over the world to live their best most meaningful lives.
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive.” – Howard Thurman.